Love Your Peers

“Just One More Thing…” is a short-form way that I share ideas, questions and guidance with more substance than a LinkedIn post and less academic rigor than my articles. I hope you find it valuable.

In my 8 Steps to High Performance stage speech, I mention that the primary relationship to master at work is with your boss. Then, I turn to your peer relationships.

“Your peers can’t get you promoted,” I say, “but they can keep you from getting promoted.” Too often we forget that our peers carry our reputation at work. When I was a people manager and I wanted to know how someone was showing up, I’d ask their peers. You likely do the same. Your boss does the same to you.

That fact means that it’s critical to actively manage your peer relationships. You want them to say genuinely nice things about you when asked, or at least not negative ones. So, you need to know how strong those relationships are today and how to strengthen them if needed.

Your Exercise: A Peer Audit
Write down the name of each of your peers. Then, rate the quality of your relationship with each peer using this scale:

5. We’re basically best friends. I trust them with my corporate life and they trust me.

4. We have a strong professional relationship and like each other personally.

3. We get along well but don’t have a warm personal relationship.

2. We don’t always see issues the same way. There is some friction.

1. We try to be professional to each other but nothing more.

Review your ratings. Every one of your peer relationships needs to be a 4 or higher!

• If you have some 3’s: Send those peers a note today that says, “We haven’t caught up on non-work stuff in a while. Let’s schedule a live or virtual coffee in the next two weeks to catch up!”
• If you have some 2’s or 1’s: Send them a note today that says, “I have a goal to strengthen all my relationships at work. One way I’m doing that is by meeting with each of my peers to understand what I can do to be a better peer to them. Can we set a 30 minute call/coffee so I can hear your thoughts on that?” Yes, this is you being the bigger person, listening, not reacting and growing.

Your high performance depends on your peer group wanting you to succeed. Take these simple steps today to ensure that your peers are your strongest supporters.